Getting inside my head

So, watching the Biggest Loser last night got me to start thinking about my life and reasons that I fail at so many things I do. I think it's a pity thing...I don't feel I deserve good things because so many bad things have happened to me. Physically I have super bad arthitis, my hair is grey...it all makes me feel old, ya know? So I need to find a way to snap out of that and not let it get to me. Right now I'm trying to focus on eating healthy and letting that make me feel good. It's a daily, if not hourly battle. I walk past the Easter candy and just wanna stand there and munch on jelly beans, open the fridge, and want what's fast and easy. :::sigh::: I'm starting to snap out of it...I think I'm rambling right now and not making much sense at all....